Holding on to it all
by ggirl72
Summary: A continuation to my fic “ Secrets from their past.”...
1. Chapter 1

Title: holding on to it all...

Summary: A continuation to my fic " Secrets from their past."...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

It was a mild Las Vegas night. Catherine and Gil were soundly sleeping when the phone woke them both.

Seeing as the phone was on Catherine's side of the bed she reached for it not bothering to open her eyes.

"Hello?" she spoke in between her yawn and stretch.

At first no one replied and she was extremely annoyed

"Hello?" she tried again, but still no one replied " Whatever" she sighed slamming down the phone.

"What was that?" Gil whispered wrapping his arm around her.

"Wrong number I guess" she yawned resting her head on his chest.

The two of them were slowly drifting back to sleep when the phone rang once more.

"mhmhm" Catherine moaned rolling on her side and switching on the lamp. She then picked up the portable phone off of it's base and looked at the screen.

"Eddie?" she answered

Gil quickly sat up and switched on the lamp on his side.

"Eddie what are you doing it.." she paused and turned to the alarm clock " Eddie it's three in the morning what do you want?"

"Cathy?" he slurred into the receiver "Cathy is that you?"

Catherine sighed " Eddie, no..it's me Catherine.."

Eddie groaned on the other end of the phone " Catherine?" he whispered " I'm sorry."

Catherine sighed " Eddie what's wrong. What do you need?"

"I need you" he replied " Catherine I need you..I need help."

"Eddie are you hurt?"

"Not yet" he whimpered " I miss her." he continued " I miss Cathy and Kaley..I miss you..I miss her."

"Eddie..I can't, Eddie what are you doing right now? Where are you?"

"I'm outside." he replied

Catherine looked over at Gil " Outside." she commented " Eddie outside where. Why are you outside?"

"I want my family back" he sobbed " I just want them back.Please Cath I need you ."

"Okay." She got up and walked to the dresser " Eddie are you at home?" she waited for a reply when the phone cut out on his end. " Eddie?" she called his name " Shit!"

"What? What's going on?" Gil got up and followed her to the kitchen " What did he want?"

"I don't know" she said as she paced back and forth " Damn it! Where are my keys?"

"You're keys?" Gil replied " Catherine what are you doing? You're not going over there?"

Catherine ignored him and walked out of the kitchen to the front door " I think he's going to do something stupid Gil." she said grabbing her keys from the side table " I have to make sure he's okay."

Gil was confused and everything was happening so fast " Well what did he say?" he tried stopping her to get some answers.

"Gil relax" she spun around " I'll be back soon."

"Well.." Gil stood there as the screen door slammed shut " Let me at least go with you." he whispered to himself as she pulled out of the driveway.

Catherine pulled into the driveway and raced toward the front door. " Ed?" she rang the bell " Eddie?" she called again.

Not getting a reply, she ran around the back of the house to find him sitting on the picnic bench. " Eddie?" she slowly walked to him and sat down beside him. " Ed what's going on?"

Eddie slowly turned to her " I miss her." he whispered showing Catherine the picture he held in his hand " I miss them."

Catherine sighed " Ed.." she lifted the empty bottle of Jack Daniels that sat next to him " How long have you been out here?"

Eddie shrugged " Does it matter?" wiping his tear stained face

"Come on" she wrapped an arm around him " Let me take you inside."

She helped him to the ground and led him in to the house " I never hurt her." he mumbled " I never did it."

"I know Eddie. I know you never hurt her. Lay down here." she helped him onto the couch " Let me get you some water."

"No." he replied grabbing her hand " Stay with me, just for a minute."

Catherine nodded " Okay." she sat next to him.

"I miss her." he murmured pressing his head against her shoulder

"I know Ed. I know you miss her" she replied. " It's going be okay."

An hour later Eddie a cried himself to sleep and Catherine managed to lay him down and cover him with a blanket. She watched him for awhile before realizing she hadn't called Gil.

She grabbed her cell phone and headed toward the kitchen so she wouldn't wake him.

Gil was watching the phone eagerly waiting for her to call.

"Cath?" he answered on the first ring.

"Gil, it's me. Eddie's in pretty bad shape and I don't want to leave him just yet."

Gil sighed " Cath, I don't think that you should be there alone with him."

"I'm fine Gil, he's sleeping. He's really... he's not doing well at all."

"I know Cath but you should'nt.."

Catherine cut him off " Stop worrying Gil, I'll be home early... around eight or so, but I can't leave him. I'm going to see if I can talk him into going to the hospital."

" Do you need me to come over there?" Gil asked

"No, Gil you know how he feels about you. I'll be okay. I'll see you later."

Gil nodded " Okay, but I still don't like that your there alone with him."

"I know you don't but I'll be fine..I love you."

"I love you too." he replied hanging up

Gil flopped back down on his bed and grabbed his crossword puzzle. As long as Catherine was over at Eddie's there was no way he was going to get any sleep. He tried to concentrate on his puzzle but he couldn't help but think that even though Eddie had just recently lost his family he was up to no good.

tbc


	2. Chapter 2

Title: holding on to it all...

Summary: A continuation to my fic " Secrets from their past."...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

"Dad?" Lindsey whispered shaking Gil from his sleep " Dad where's mom?"

Gil quickly opened his eyes and jumped up " Linds! What's wrong?"

Lindsey shrugged " Nothing, I just wanted to know here mom was. She usually gets up and drives me to school."

Gil looked at his watch "eight thirty.. what time do you guys leave?"

"Now." Lindsey replied.

Gil nodded " Okay. give me five minutes and I'll drive you."

Lindsey nodded and headed out of the room. Gil grabbed his clothes and got dressed, he ran out of the bedroom and grabbed his keys and met Lindsey outside.

"So where's mom?" Lindsey made conversation

Gil sighed " you're Dad called last night, he's not doing to well."

Lindsey nodded " He's misses his family."

Gil nodded " Yeah and it's hard for him. But you're mom didn't want him to hurt himself so she went over there early this morning.Just to make sure he's okay."

Lindsey nodded " Oh..well tell her I'll see her after school." he leaned over to kiss Gil on the cheek " Love you dad" she smiled

Gil nodded " Love you too Linds."

Lindsey climbed out of the denali and headed toward her school.

"Hey Linds!" Gil called out the window " Breakfast?" he had forgotten after sleeping in.

Lindsey waved showing him her pop-tart.

"Okay hun, see you later."

Lindsey nodded and ran inside as Gil drove off.

Gil was on his way back home when he found himself taking a detour toward Eddie's house. After sitting out front debating whether or not to go inside he ending up turning around and going back home.

Inside the house Eddie was the first one awake. He looked over at Catherine to find she had fallen asleep in the reclining chair.

"Catherine?" he gently shook her arm. "Catherine wake up."

Catherine's eyes opened and she took minute to realize where she was. " Eddie what.." she sat up and rubbed her eyes " What time is it?"

"Just after nine." he paused " You want some coffee?"

Catherine shook her head " No Eddie..I ..I don't want any coffee, how about you explain what happened last night?"

Eddie sighed " I got drunk and I lost it. I'm sorry I called you over here, I didn't think you'd come and I just ..I just needed to see you that's all."

Catherine nodded " Eddie you need help."

Eddie sighed and walked into the kitchen " No, I'm fine, I'm dealing..I'll be okay, lately I've been holding on to it all. It's been four months and I can't shake it."

"You're not supposed to shake it Eddie you're supposed to deal with it."

Eddie nodded and slammed down the coffee pot " Easy for you to say , you're happy and getting married, your family wasn't stabbed to death."

"You're right Eddie, I am happy and I am getting married, but I took some time out for you because you called me. I came over here because I cared. If you don't want to admit you need help then I can't do anything for you. I don't know what you're going through but I can help."

Eddie scoffed "Yeah..does you're boyfriend know you're here?"

Catherine sighed ignoring him " Eddie, I think you should go to the hospital. They can help you get better."

Eddie spun around to her " No way, I don't need a shrink or a doctor or anything like that I just..I just need you to..be there for me."

Catherine nodded " Eddie, you'll always be a part of me, you're Lindsey's father. But I'm getting married and I don't want to sound selfish but I'm moving on. I love Gil so much and I know that if I were to run off to you every second you called, it would hurt what Gil and I have."

"So it's all about him?"

"No. Eddie it's not but you have to remember that you and I..were not married, and there are other people out there that can help you."

"Fine." Eddie blurted " I'm sorry I called you."

"Eddie don't be like that." she stood up and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't touch me" she pulled violently away from her.

Catherine stepped back. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah me too" Eddie replied " Get out."

Catherine nodded " Eddie, please get some help."

Eddie nodded " Yeah I got that part now..get out."

"Okay." Catherine replied grabbing her keys.

Gil was pacing back and forth in the kitchen when he heard her coming in the front door.

Cath?" he ran to the front door " What happened? Where have you been?"

Catherine sighed " If you were that worried you could have came over after Lindsey got off to school."

Gil nodded " As a matter of fact I did and then I figured I might rile him up or you might get mad so I left."

"Oh" she paused " So you didn't trust me."

Gil raised his eyebrow "No.I don't trust him." he paused " What's wrong with you?"

Catherine shrugged " I just...I 'm sorry, I didn't mean to be like that. I'm worried about him that's all. He's hurting, he's clearly depressed but he's to stubborn to want or ask for help from any one ."

"Except you." Gil replied

Catherine nodded "yeah well I doubt he'll be calling anymore."

"Why? What happened?"

"Nothing, he got mad and told me to get out."

"But what if he does call again?"

"I don't " she replied

Gil sighed " Cath.."

"What? What Gil I don't want to have my ex's suicide hanging over my head, he's Lindsey's father and I can't just.."

Gil nodded and pulled her into a hug." I know..but Cath..were getting married soon, this came at a really bad time is all."

"I don't think he planned it if that's what you're implying." she replied

"I know it's just..You know what I'm being over protective."

"You're not going to lose me Gil." she smiled kissing him " Just give him some time. Besides I told him I have a life and I can't just drop everything"

Gil nodded " You promise?"

Catherine nodded " Yeah...I promise."

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

Title: holding on to it all...

Summary: A continuation to my fic " Secrets from their past."...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 3

Rating: CSI 2..i guess

* * *

Catherine was sitting at her desk watching as the time neared the end of her shift. She had just told Warrick and Nick to head home due to an uneventful evening and she was finishing up the last of her paper work when he knocked on her door.

Poking his head through the half open door he watched her " Hey." he smiled stepping in and closing the door behind him. " How was your shift?" he sat down across form her.

Catherine dropped her pen " People decided to wait until my shift was over to start killing each other." she smirked " Had a small break and enter..inside job..mother's son and his friends."

Gil nodded " Kids." he replied " Catherine sighed " Yep..kids.So" she sat back and put her leg up " Whats brings you by?" she smiled

"Well" Gil handed her a slip of paper " Our wedding planner told me he couldn't get through on your line so he called me to confirm our rehearsal for tomorrow night."

Catherine nodded " What? I didn't forget" she commented when she noticed him staring at her.

Gil nodded " Oh, I know you didn't" he paused " Are you okay?"

Catherine put her feet down " Yeah..I'm fine why?"

"I don't know..you seem distracted..or..upset."

Catherine shrugged " No..not me, I'm fine..I'm getting married in a week, I haven't a worry in the world." she whispered walking around to sit on his lap. " Did you lock the door?" she whispered in his ear.

Gil nodded and began kissing her neck, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. " Shouldn't you be getting ready to hand out assignments?" she whispered

"In a minute" he replied

"You're team is waiting" she teased " You shouldn't make them wait."

Gil pulled away " You're not funny." he smiled pressing his lips against hers as he lifted her to sit on her desk.

"I guess the team can wait" she replied running a hand through her hair and " I.."

Catherine was cut off when her cell phone vibrated against her thigh. Before answering she looked at the screen.

"Who's that?" he wondered hoping it wasn't an emergency with Lindsey

Catherine looked at the screen " Ahh.." she paused looking back at him " It's nothing." she pressed the ignore button and put the phone back in her pocket.

"You sure?" Gil replied looking at her curiously.

Catherine nodded " Yeah.." jumping off the desk " I should get going mom wants to get home for bingo."

"You're mom plays late night bingo?" Gil replied

Catherine nodded " Yeah..I'll see you in the morning?"

Gil nodded " Okay." he leaned in to kiss her " Love you"

" Love you too.." she replied " heading out of the office before him.

Gil stayed behind wondering what had just happened, even though he had a pretty good idea.

* * *

Catherine climbed in her vehicle and pulled out her cell phone. It had been two weeks since she had last seen or heard from Eddie and wondered why all of a sudden he was contacting her again.

She pulled out her cell phone and scanned through the contact list, she skimmed quickly and found Eddie's home number. She hesitated for a moment and flip her phone shut and threw it on the seat. You don't have to call him Catherine, He's a big boy...you don't owe him anything..he can take care of himself."

Catherine started the engine and pulled out of the parking lot. Halfway from her home her cell phone began to ring. She looked over and grabbed it up. Her heart hoping it wasn't him and at the same time wanting to know if he was okay " Gil?" she answered looking at the id " I'm on my way."

"Your ex keeps calling here." she didn't even say hello " You want to tell me when that happened?"

Catherine sighed " Hell to you to mom,"

"Cathy..I'm serious. I thought you were getting rid of him...for good."

Catherine rolled her eyes " Mom..what are you talking about..when did he call?"

"Oh I don't know" she began " Every hour for the past six..your daughter has school tomorrow and he keeps waking her..now she's all upset because he said something to her on the phone and she wanted me to take her over there."

"Don't "Catherine firmly replied "and stop answering the phone, I have caller id you know."

Her mother sighed " Whatever Cath..I'll see you soon."

Catherine nodded " Yeah mom, in about an half and hour, I just remembered I forgot something at he lab and I have to run back."

Her mother sighed " Catherine..I have bingo later you know."

I know.. I know.. I 'll be there soon mom." she replied pushing the end button on her phone.

Back at square one she threw her phone on the seat and pulled to the side of the road. " Catherine...stop worrying about it." she whispered to herself

Catherine took a few minutes and soon she was on her way.

* * *

Gil headed back to his office after handing out his assignments and sat down at his desk. He grabbed his pen and began the treacherous paper work. After only two sheets he was to distracted to continue.,he dropped his pen and grabbed his phone. Seeing as how Catherine hadn't called to say she had gotten home yet he took the initiative and called her instead.

* * *

Catherine sat in the driveway and stared at his house. It seemed as quiet and still just like the last night she had been there.

Not anting to waste more time sitting she climbed out and headed toward the door. She grabbed her cell phone and dialed his number on the way to the door.

Getting his machine she rapped o the door and waited for the beep. " Eddie...it's me..I want to make sure okay.." she paused " Okay well...I'm outside so I guess you're doing fine or else..."

She paused when she heard the front door open but he never appeared

"Eddie?" she pushed the door and stepped in. The house was dark and cold and the stench of alcohol filled her nose. " Ed?" she called into the darkness. " Ed?" she turned quickly when she heard the door slam " Eddie" she turned to see him standing in front of the door. " Eddie are you okay?"

Eddie didn't reply, he stepped toward her and brushed passed her. Not saying anything he grabbed a half empty bottle of vodka and headed out to the backyard.

Catherine didn't follow, instead she flipped on the light and looked around. The house was a mess.It looked as if at one point Eddie had tore the place apart in rage and and decided not to put anything back where it belonged. She walked toward the kitchen..same mess all around. She looked in the sink dishes that had been in the sink since the murders..everything seemed to stand still. She looked in his cupboards and in the fridge. Eddie was clearly not eating due to the fact that almost everything edible had gone far past it's due date.

Catherine sighed and headed toward the backyard when she felt her cell phone vibrate once more. Knowing it may be her mother she pulled out the phone. she was about to answer she saw Gil was calling. She wanted to answer and tell him where she was but she didn't want to upset him. So she ignored him " Eddie?" she called heading outside " Ed" she sat down next to him " You can't live like this..you need to clean up and you need to eat something."

Eddie grunted and took a swig from the bottle. " You want some?" he replied offering her the bottle

"No" she shook her head " Eddie what have you eaten."

Eddie held up the bottle indicating the drink was all he needed

"You'll get sick Ed.." she paused " Okay..don't respond..tell me one thing...why did you call Lindsey? what did you say to her?"

Eddie turned to her " Nothing..I just wanted to hear her voice" he put the bottle down " How is she?"

Catherine shrugged " She's doing good..I think she misses you.. you just stopped coming around.."

Eddie got up from the bench " I miss her"

"Who? Catherine replied

"Lindsey" he whispered "You" he added

Catherine walked toward him " I never kept you from her." she replied ignoring the last part

Eddie nodded " I know.." he paused " Thank you for coming."

Catherine nodded " I can't stay Ed..I just wanted to see if you were..." she paused " I have to get home my mom's waiting."

"Wait" she stopped her " I don't have much food and ...up until now I haven't felt like eating or..doing anything for that matter You .. just being here helps me so much..you always did have that affect on me though.I can't believe I screwed up what we had. I wish I could turn..."

Catherine turned back and sighed " Eddie I...I ..I'm sorry I really need to get home." she replied before he could finish.

* * *

Gil was at his desk when he got the call from Catherine's mother.

"Grissom." he answered

"Gil" she began " Is Catherine on her way?"

Gil looked around him " No..she left almost an hour and a half ago..she's not home yet?"

Her mother was upset " No.. and I talked to her about an hour ago..I told her to hurry home, we talked about Eddie ad I told her he keeps calling and that Lindsey was upset. The she said she would be home in a half an hour, that she had to go back to the lab.I have to leave"

Gil stood up from his chair and grabbed his keys " Give me fifteen minutes, I'll be home so you can leave."

* * *

Gil arrived home before Catherine and Lily was on her way. Lindsey was still sound asleep and Gil was worried and upset. He sat down in his lazy-boy chair and waited.

He wasn't waiting long when he heard her keys in the door.

When she stepped inside the lights were low and she didn't see him at first.

"What happened to you?" he stood up as she set down her keys.

"Gil?" she replied " what are you doing home?"

Gil sighed " Your mom called she was a little worried. a little upset. A little annoyed."

Catherine sighed " I had somethings that need to be taken are of."

"Eddie" he replied

Catherine sighed " Yeah..Ed. needed help."

"Again?" he replied coldly

Catherine raised her eyebrow " Whats' the problem Gil?"

"I just don't see why you need to run off to him and keep it from me..and lie to me."

"When did I lie to you?"

Gil shook his head " Tonight in your office you lied..you said it was no one." It was Eddie."

Catherine shrugged and headed toward the kitchen " He's not well Gil..he has no one.and he needs someone."

"It doesn't have to be you" he replied " Why does it have to be you?"

"Why not. Why are you so worried?"

"Because I know Eddie and I know what he's capable of."

Catherine sighed " He changed"

Gil shrugged " Maybe."

"GIL!"she snapped " Stop! okay, He's Lindsey father for crying out loud!"

Gil stopped her " What? " she spat " don't look at me like that, you sit here and wait for me in the dark..like so some over possessive..." she stopped " Look I'm tired.I'm not doing this with you right now."

"I'm not being possessive. I just don't want you rushing off to him anymore."

"What?" she replied " Are you serious?"

Gil nodded " I don't trust him and neither did you.at a point in time."

" You mean you don't trust me." she shot back " Well that's not my fault."

Gil sighed " I do to trust you I just...I don't...I don't want to lose you..I feel like I'm losing you.."

Catherine turned to him " You're not.." she replied taking his hand in hers " Were getting married next week Gil I don't want everyday until then to be a fight ."

"I just don't want you to get hurt. I'm begging you..just stop going over there."

"I can't.."she replied " not until I know he'll be okay."

"So my wishes mean nothing to you?"

Catherine sighed " You know that's not true.It's complicated and you're not even trying to understand" she dropped his hand " I'm heading to bed..you going back to work?"

Catherine then disappeared into the bedroom and Gil left the house to go back to work.

* * *

Eddie was lying on his couch when he heard the vehicle drive up. Wondering what she had come back for but happy that she had he jumped off the couch and ran to the door. He had the front door open before he realized that it wasn't Catherine that had come back and that standing at his front door was Gil Grissom

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Title: holding on to it all...

Summary: A continuation to my fic " Secrets from their past."...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 4

Rating: CSI 2..i guess

"Mr. Grissom" Eddie scoffed " To what do I owe this great surprise?"

Gil didn't waste anytime and got right to the point. " I want you to stop calling her. Stop calling our home, her office, our daughter. Just stop."

Eddie sneered " You mean my daughter" he paused " Or have you forgotten that at one time I was the one Catherine loved. I was the one who made her happy. And that Lindsey is something Catherine and I share and as long as we have Linds..I'll always be in Catherine's life."

Gil sighed " You can be in Lindsey's life..but Catherine wants nothing to do with you. She's only hanging around because she feels bad for you, you're nothing more to her than a charity case."

Eddie nodded " Maybe so, but you can't get her to stop , otherwise you wouldn't be on my front step trying to intimidate me."

Gil glared at him

"Well Mr.Grissom, Do you have anything else to say" he paused " Because I'm not afraid of you or you're science and you should know by now that if Catherine wants to do something you can't stop her...unless of course you use excessive force."

"I'd never hurt her." Gil snarled " especially not the ways you did."

"Yeah.. well sometimes..dealing with someone like her...sometimes it was necessary that she knew who was in charge " Eddie smiled " So you can come here and try to scare me but you can't, it won't work and I am going to be in your life forever...I might even get invited to the wedding" he went to close the door " If there is still going to be a wedding."

"You haven't changed at all and I'm warning you Willows" Gil stopped the door from closing " You don't want to mess with me. You stop this now and you leave us alone"

Eddie nodded " I'll see you later Gris.. thanks for the visit though, I'll be sure to let Catherine know you were here."

Eddie then slammed the door in Gil's face and headed back to the couch.

Gil stood on the step his nose inches from the door, his heart racing. He knew Eddie hadn't changed but how was he going to convince Catherine otherwise, when it came to Eddie all she could see was the distraught man who lost his family, she couldn't see him for what he really was..which was the exact same monster he had been when they were married.

next night

Catherine was putting her hair back when she looked at the time. Realizing she had only twenty minutes to finish getting ready and get to the reception hall she finished brushing out her loose strands and heading downstairs. Grabbing her cell phone as she searched for her keys she called Gil.

"Hey sweetie" she spoke hearing him pick up " I can't find my keys do you have them."

"No Cath, I don't did you check your purse?" Gil replied

Catherine sighed " Yes..I don't know where they went. I just get the spare set from the safe and I'll be there soon. Okay.."

"Mhhm." Gil replied

"Gil" she stopped and sat down on the couch " Are we going to be okay?"

"Yeah" he sighed " I'm sorry I just...I'm sorry, I think I am a little nervous, just hurry okay."

Catherine smiled to herself " Okay..I'm leaving now" she paused " I love you."

"I love you too" he replied " I'll see you soon."

Catherine hung up from Gil and dropped the phone in her pocket, she then headed back upstairs to get her second set of keys. After retrieving them she headed back down stairs, with her hand on the door knob she paused at the sound of her phone. She quickly whipped the phone from her pocket. " Gil" she didn't bother to check " I'm leaving now I.."

"Mrs Willows?" a women's voice responded

"Miss...Willows" she corrected " What can I do for you?"

"My name is Catrina Farrington, I'm here with you're husband. Edward"

"My husband.." she paused " Oh Ed..he's not my husband ...wait where are you calling from?" she asked looking at the screen on her phone to find it said unknown name.

"I'm calling from Desert Palms there was an incident and you're husband was brought in, he's been looked after and know he had given us you're name..he can't drive home and he shouldn't be left to just anyone right now he said you'd be willing to come get him."

Catherine sighed, you can't get anyone else? Can't he take a cab, I mean what's wrong with him?"

"Alcohol poisoning, he's been here for about twelve hours, plus he was injured in a fight, I'm not sure what exactly happened, he keeps asking for you."

"Ahh,.." she groaned looking at her watch, she still had time left but it would be a close call. " Okay..have the release forms ready I'll be there as soon as I can."

Catherine sighed hanging up from the hospital and dialing Gil. "Gil" she quickly spoke for the voice mail as she climbed into her vehicle " Don't be mad, I have one quick stop and then I'll be there, give me ten minutes..sweetie okay, I love you, see you soon."

Catherine finished filling out the release forms and waited for Eddie to be brought out to the waiting room.

"Catherine?" he smiled slightly as he was wheeled out " Thank you so much for coming."

" Yeah" she nodded " Let's get you home."

"What's wrong?" he whispered as she took the envelope of his belongings.

"Ed, you...I have some places that I should be right now, so let's just hurry this up." she waited for him to stand " I'm not pushing you in that chair get up and walk..help me help you."

Eddie sighed " You know if you didn't want to come ..."

Catherine cut him off " Oh right! Eddie..You knew I would come...that's why you had the nurse call me." she helped him from his chair " This is it you know , I'm not doing this anymore. I'm getting married in a few days and that's it."

"I know " he replied as he allowed her to prop him on her shoulder " I heard this speech from your boyfriend, and If he hadn't come and stuck his nose where it didn't belong then I wouldn't be here."

Catherine stepped just short of the Tahoe " What are you talking about?"

"Oh..he didn't tell you? Gil came to my place late last night..told me that you belonged to him and to keep away from you and my daughter, that he would do whatever it took to keep you from me, me from you.. then" Eddie paused " He hit me"

"Gil came to see you?" Catherine raised her eyebrow as she helped him in " Gil hit you?"

"Yeah I was surprised to" Eddie lied " I know you say he would never hurt you or that he's not violent but my black eye and fractured rib proves otherwise."

Catherine nodded but didn't reply She didn't remember the nurse mentioning anything broken and she was confused..why wouldn't Gil tell her if he was going over there. Now she knew how he felt...But could Gil really hit him? She didn't know, she had never seen any other side of Gil Grissom, especially not a violent one, but then again she had never seen Eddie's violent side until after the wedding,. If Gil had a violent dark side she wasn't going to go down that road again. Not this time.

Catherine put the Tahoe in park and watched as Eddie struggled toward the front door. " I'll wait until you get inside "she called to him "just don't over do it."

She then waited until he was out of ear shot and called Gil as she waited for Eddie to get inside.

"Cath where are you?" Gil answered

"Gil..Did you go to Ed's?"

"What?" Gil responded

"Ed, said that you were over here..."

"Over where ..Damn it Catherine are you with him now?"

"Yes, he was hospitaltized..you beat him up?"

"I didn't touch that jerk Catherine ..I can't believe your over there with him while everyone is here, at your wedding rehersal..waiting for you to..."

Catherine tried to cut him off but he was far to upset.

"You lied to me, ..Catherine what are we doing? Am I losing you to him? Because last night you told me I wasn't and I'm standing here at the rehearsal dinner waiting for my fiancee to show up and she's out with her ex's what's going on?" Gil demanded to know, the whole time his heart breaking "We just worked on this case where this women cheated on her fiancee with her ex... I feel like I'm losing you too him, and I can't seem to get through to you...are we doing this or not?"

"I would never..cheat on you" she whispered, a little hurt that he would compare the two situations. " If that's how you feel then maybe you are losing me..."

"What?" Gil replied shocked at what he had just heard.

Catherine wiped her tears and tried to control her emotions, from the seat she was sitting in she could see Eddie struggling with his keys and suddenly he was on the ground. She knew she should forget about him, and head to her wedding rehearsal and fix everything with Gil but she was confused and everything was a mess.

"I don't want to be afraid" she whispered to Gil before her cell cut out.

"Cath?" Gil called into the dead air " Catherine?"

Catherine went to Eddie's side and helped him to his feet. " I meant what I said Ed" she whispered through the tears " I'm not doing this anymore, I'm hurting everything and everyone that matters to me.I'm in love and I'm happy..and I haven't been in a really long time. I can't help you anymore"

Eddie sighed " I saw this coming." he whispered pretending to lose his balance and pulled her forward to the floor " I saw this coming."

Eddie struggled against her as she tried to get the both of them back up on their feet " Eddie, stop resisting, and pull you're self up."

Eddie smirked " You don't get it do you?" he pinned her down " I want you back..I never loved Cathy..not like I loved you and her brat of a daughter..she couldn't hold a candle to Lindsey. It's sad what happened to them but I didn't want to be with her anyway. I want you Catherine, I want to be with you."

Catherine tried sitting up " Eddie get off me, your heavy and your hurting me."

Eddie scoffed " You can be happy with me again, just give it a chance.." he smiled " Give me a chance, I don't have to be that way..you don't have to make me want to hurt you." he bent down and kissed her.

"What?" she replied turning her head at the same time realizing that Gil was right that Eddie hadn't changed at all."you lied to me" she pushed against him this time he fell to the side. " Gil didn't hit you did he? You lied to me, you got me to think you were upset, and depressed and you were just playing me.I can't believe I thought you had changed. What's wrong with me? I thought maybe you had chance..that I would give a second of chance to fix what you destroyed with Lindsey." she backed away " I'm leaving Ed..just let me go."

"Lindsey's my daughter and starting now..daddy's going to be there for her..you wait..I'll take her from you if you marry him, I'll take her from you if you don't come back."

Catherine shook her head as the tears came " You can't ..I'm marrying him and once were are they won't take her from a stable home, you tried that Ed, you tried it and and it backfired."

Eddie nodded shrugged and the next thing she knew she charged at her and she was pinned against the wall. " You're not listening to me, you have a problem, you never used to listen to me that's why I had to do the things I did. You don't get it." he repeated, slapping her across the face " I need you and I swear to you Catherine" he whispered into her ear ."I'll do what I have to do to make you understand."

Catherine pulled away " I won't be afraid" she sighed raising her hands to defend herself " I'm not afraid of you anymore."

"What?" Eddie smiled " You know you want it as much as I do..otherwise you wouldn't have come..I know you Cath..I know you." he charged at her once more but she expected it. It didn't take her long to dodge him, she grabbed her keys that had fallen during the struggle and raced toward the door.

Catherine swung the door open at the same time Gil approached the front porch.

tbc


	5. Chapter 5

Title: holding on to it all...

Summary: A continuation to my fic " Secrets from their past."...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 5

Rating: CSI 2..i guess

Catherine pushed passed Gil and Brass and coninued toward her vehicle, not bothering to look back.

Gil who had tried to stop her ran aftre her as Brass pushed inside the house to deal with Eddie.

Catherine speed down the street and out of sight, she wasn't exaclty sure where she was going or why she hadn't stopped a while back, all she knew was that she had to get away..far away.

For a while longer she drove aimlessly around the neighbour hood untill she reached the church. Getting out of her car she sighed and wiped away her tears as they were falling.

Gil pulled up just nehind her as she rested on bench in the courtyard. Not wanting to smother her, he hesitated for a moment before approaching.

"Cath?" he whispered in to the darkness of the night.

Catherine looked up and once again wiped her tears. " Gil?" she looked back at the Denali " What are you doing here?"

"I had to know if you were hurt. Physically I mean."

Catherine sighed " I'll be fine." she repleid

Gil sat down next to her " Cath?" he spoke resting a hand on her shoulder

"Don't" she pulled away " I don't deserve it."

Gil ignored her reaction and pulled her close

"Gil please" she tried once more but he wasn''t letting her go.

"Stop it." he whispered to her " Don't push me away, I'm not going anywhere."

"I don't deserve this." she sniffled " I treated so bad...I.I was horrible to you."

Gil sighed " Cath, I understand why you had to do what you did. He's her father and he will always be her father. I understand that you loved him. Cath, you had a daughter with him. I don't expect you not to feel anything when it comes to Eddie. And you were right when you said he needed help, at one point he was hurting, he lost people close to him. And you being the understanding, campastionate, and caring person that you are wanted to help him. He took advantage. " he paused " Cath, I know.."

"I was holding to everything." she interuppted " I know the things he did to me were horrible but..I was holding on to this feeling ..this feeling that I owed it to him to be there for him there were good times with him too, I guess it was.. maybe because I ..I thought he changed and I was stupid to ignore you and listen to him...I'm so sorry."

Gil held her tight " You don't have to apoligize, I love you and I don't want you to hold onto this, I want to marry and I want us to be happy and move on, Eddie won't hurt you and Lindsey ever again. He's not going to."

Catherine pulled away " He said he would, he said he wouldn't let me marry you, He said he won't let me go."

Gil smiled taking her face in his hands " I wouldn't want to let you go either but he's going to have to."

Catherine nodded " I'm really sorry about rehersal."

Gil hugged her once more " It's okay..I rescheduled, we still have time, but I need to make sure this is what you really want."

Catherine nodded " I want be your wife." she replied " I love you."

Gil faced her "And I love you.. so much." he whispered as he soflty carressed her bruised cheek " Let's go back to the station and talk to Brass and then get you checked out."

Catherine nodded and took his hand as they walked toward his vehicle.

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

Title: holding on to it all...

Summary: A continuation to my fic " Secrets from their past."...

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Chapter 6...or more along the lines of an epilogue

Rating: CSI 2..i guess

* * *

"So?" Gil smiled as he took the hand of the women he loved. " How does it feel to be Mrs. Gil Grissom?"

Catherine leaned forward. " Well so far it's been amazing, but it's only been two hours." she smiled pressing her forehead against his " I love you ya know."

Gil placed a kiss on her lips "I know." he whispered " I love you too." he then broke away and looked at the time. " Baby, we should make the rounds our flight is going to leave without is."

Catherine nodded " Okay, let's go." she stood up their hands still linked.

"Here come the newlyweds." Warrick stood up from his table " Cath!" he hugged her " Gil.." he shook his hand " Congratulations, you two are great together."

Gil nodded wrapping his arm around Catherine's waist " We are aren't we." he smiled kissing her once more.

"Oh come on guys" Lindsey cut in "I understand that you have to kiss the bride, till death do you part, and all that 'I do' stuff. But lets face it. It's gross and there is only so much a girl can take."

Catherine smiled " Oh Linds!" she grabbed the girl and hugged her tight " I love you so much you know that right?"

Lindsey nodded "Yes mom and I love you too" she paused " You're not going to cry are you?"

Catherine pulled away and wiped a tear " No. of course not."

Lindsey smiled " Mom, you're only gone two weeks, and Dad" she looked over at Gil " Is going to treat you like a queen!"

"I know , But I am still going to miss you! You be good for Grandma."

Lindsey nodded " I always am."

"Catherine.." Greg was next to get a hug " You're glowing..you looked beautiful up there today, Gil's one lucky guy, If he screws up you call me" Greg joked " I'll take care of him."

"Oh I'll make sure you're the first person I call Greg.." she replied in laughter

"Gil?" Sara approached the gruop while Catherine was still with Lindsey and the others " I know I have been a little bitter about the whole thing, I guess it just took this to make me realize that there was nothing ever between you and I."

"Sara...I..-" Gil tried to intervene

"No, let me finish..You are happy, and to be honest I have never seen this side of you so I guess you have got a real good thing going. She's a great women Gil and you deserve to be happy and she does too. And if it's her that makes you happy and you that does the same for her then who am I to think any different."

Gil nodded but didn't repsond

"All I am saying is congrats.. Gil you've made a lot of people happy..that little girl" she motioned to Lindsey " Being one of them."

"Thank you Sara." he replied and much to her surprise opened his arms for a hug. " You're a great friend."

"Am I interuppting?" Catherine calld out as she approach the two.

"No" Gil pulled away " Sara was just saying how lucky the both of us were."

Catherine nodded " We are."

"Congratulations Catherine" Sara replied pulling her into a hug." You two have fun and make sure he relaxes."

"I'll try." she waved as Gil took her arm.

Gil and Catherine made it to the limo when he stopped them. "Cath?" Catherine slowly turned at the sound of his voice,

" Eddie?" she whispered " What..what are you doing here?" she continued glancing over at Gil who quickly was at her side.

"What the hell do you want?" Gil stepped forward as Eddie came to a stop near Catherine.

"Look Gil." Eddie raised his hands as if he was surrendering " I just came by to say congrats."

" Okay well you've said it." Catherine jumped in " So you can leave." she added as Gil opened the limo door.

"Look Cath..Gil." he continued stopping the two of them "I don't..I didn't come here to upset either of you or to fight. I came here to tell you I'm sorry. I know you probably don't want to hear it but I didn't realize how happy you were and how happy you made her." he looked over at Gil. " I took advantage of Catherine, I was hoping at a second chance with her, we all know I blew it big time. And I lost my head..I'm getting help..I thought you should know since it was you that was always telling me that I needed it. I saw you up there today..during the ceremony and I finally get it and I know I have to let you go. I have no one to blame but my self. I just wanted you to know that I really did love you and Lindsey..and I still do..but I know that I have to let go."

Catherine nodded looking over at Gil " How do I know you're not lying again." she quickly questioned him " I've seen this before."

"You don't " Eddie replied " I can't convince you otherwise. But it's the truth." he added stepping forward with his arms extended

Catherine reacted quickly and stepped back closer to Gil.

"I'm sorry." Eddie replied " I don't blame you for not wanting me to touch you.Gil" he reached out " Congratulations, you're good for her and I know that she loves you..be good to her..I had a chance and I wasn't..don't screw it up like I did."

Gil nodded and out of the kindess in his heart he shook Eddie's hand. " Thank you ...I'll take good care of her."

Eddie smiled at the two as they climbed into their limo and drove toward the airport.

He watched untill the car disapperead into the darkness, and at that very moment Eddie let go of everything he had been holding on to.

END


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